This is me

Hi there and welcome to Mutants and Mayhem, my tiny little corner of the interwebs. My name is Tamarah and I really blow at introductions, but for the sake of the BlogBoss challenge, I’m going to give it a shot.

Once upon a time, when Facebook still asked for little “describe yourself quotes” and info on how you were linked to your friends and I still thought I was mighty wise, this is what I wrote: “I can be many things. If you let me.” It was a passive-aggressive swipe at my controlling, abusive boyfriend, but in the 12 years since, it has held value for me.

I find labeling difficult. Seldom more so than for myself. In a world where culture is everything, I was borne of two very different worlds – Colonial English and honest-to-heaven Boere Afrikaans. I was raised in the Northern Suburbs (Cape Town) by a proudly Southern Suburbs mother, but really feel like the small town in the Klein Karoo where my dad lived is where I grew up. The English city girl who came around for holidays. In a society that exalts in the tragedy of losing your identity to Mom, I do not feel defined by this new title.

I’m often described as a bitch by people who really should do better. I’m not. I have zero tact. I’m not malicious, I simply do not possess the skill. When I attempt diplomacy, nobody understands me. I have been referred to as Mao-esque, autocratic and, my favourite, Mein F├╝hrer. I’m pedantic. I like systems and rules and I can be a bit rigid about them. They make me feel safe. The same person who called me autocratic, also lovingly calls me Mother Hen. My walls are high, but once you’re my person, I will fight for you like a tigress. That said, I don’t appreciate BS, whether or not you’re my person.

I could go on and on, but I think the statement holds true. I can be many things. If you let me.

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2 Responses

  1. Jonelle says:

    I think I see myself in your words. It’s weird to feel so much like someone you mostly know online.

    • Tamarah says:

      It is so very strange to have connected so much with someone I’ve only met once. But I’m so very grateful.

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